Zodiac Hidden Fears
- ♈ Aries: Aries fear that they don't fear 'fear'. Most of them are insightful enough to know they can leap head on into danger unnecessarily
- ♉ Taurus: People will think they are boring. To make up for it they bake food or take people out because they are worried they alone aren't enough
- ♊ Gemini: Other people will see how internally wound up and vulnerable they are. How much they really need somebody there; no matter how independent they may seem
- ♋ Cancer: Having a volatile family life. Most Cancers fear divorce but also believe it will never happen to them
- ♌ Leo: People will tire of their theatrics and neediness and reject them entirely. That eventually people will give up on trying to assure them and cope with their drama
- ♍ Virgo: People will judge them and treat them differently if they are not at least fulfilling some purpose or use for being around
- ♎ Libra: They will be alone forever
- ♏ Scorpio: They will open up and share a secret to somebody, but be rejected / betrayed
- ♐ Sagittarius: They will love somebody more than the other person loves them. They will need somebody more than they are needed.
- ♑ Capricorn: Because everyone puts so much faith in them, they are secretly worried they will just destroy everything and don't know who to ask for help
- ♒ Aquarius: Eventually they will just drift entirely away from everybody. That one day they will be unable to decipher what is rational and not. A true sense of isolation
- ♓ Pisces: That people only pretend to like them. Most Pisces can't figure out why they have friends or why they are liked. They are constantly comparing themselves
A girl in my Sociology class turns around during a class activity on goals to start a conversation with me. Her opening line is: ‘I want to get married.’ I nod and smile. She does not ask me my goals, just continues telling me the sort of guy she’d like to be with and how many kids she’d like. Thoughtfully, she adds, ‘My mom told me to meet someone and marry them. You don’t wanna date around because you wanna be fresh for the guy and not a….you know what.’
My cousin’s Facebook ‘About Me’ lists things she would like in a man. There is nothing about her or the things she does, only qualities she finds attractive. ‘Looking for someone who can play the guitar and cook a great dinner,’ she wrote. I can hear her bubbly, singsong voice while reading it. She is thirteen years old and has told me that girls ‘oughta only kiss their husbands and that’s it.’ When I ask her what she wants to be when she’s older she says, ‘Married.’
My male friend tells me that he has no problem with what girls do, but that he would not date a girl who’s ‘been around’ because she’d be ‘dirty.’ I wonder if each time someone touches you, a part of you is soiled. If there are piles of dirt in the spaces where others’ fingers once rested. In the shower, I try to scrub the smell of dirt from myself, but come out, still polluted, with red scratch marks all over me.
Being called a ‘you know what’ taught me some things: that I do not want to be touched by somebody who will judge my past. That I am not a tally book, with others’ names burned into me. If you have to label me as something, let it be a human being.
I’m so fucking weird
I’m the nicest rude person you’ll ever meet.
I don’t give a fuck about anything but at the same time, I care about a lot.
I hate people but I want to be everyone’s friend.
I hate myself but I’m completely fabulous.
I need help.
it’s so freaking crappy when the only person you ever want to talk to, isn’t interested in you and has better people to talk with.